— Manwë at some point probably (via petprouvaire)
God, don’t you know that’s where the FURRY PORN belongs?
Anonymous asked: why you don't like tauriel? I want to hear your rant :D
There are a lot of people who could explain it better than myself, as usual, one of which I’ve reblogged, but I’ll try my best.
The problem with Tauriel is, fundamentally, that she doesn’t function properly in the world Tolkien created. She’s more like the creation of a fourteen-year-old on FF.net, the kind of OC that the Protectors of the Plot Continuum would merrily destroy. In short, she is a Mary-Sue of the worst kind.
I’m not the kind of person who throws around the definition “Mary-Sue” lightly. Tauriel is a Mary-Sue because she does things an elf like her in Middle-Earth should not be able to do.
First off, she is rather too young to hold the position she holds in Thranduil’s realm. She’s 600, which is really young for a race that lives forever. There are elves in Mirkwood who fought in the Last Alliance, elf-men and elf-women who are seasoned soldiers and warriors who have seen the kind of shit Sauron can pull. There are probably elves who lived with Thranduil and Celeborn in Doriath. Hell, there might be elves who went with Mablung and Beleg to fight Morgoth’s armies. In short, really old, really wise, really experienced elves who know stuff and are simply better qualified for the job than a 600-year-old whelp.
Secondly, she has abilities an elf like her shouldn’t have. The Laws and Customs of the Eldar specifically state that elves who kill a lot aren’t supposed to be able to heal. There are exceptions, and that is Lord Elrond (and that might be because he has the blood of Men and the blood of a freaking maia in his veins). Beleg also was good at healing, but we’re talking about a great elf of ancient times and it was only flesh wounds, not specifically malignant wounds such as Kíli’s. In the movie, the arrow he’s wounded with is described by an orc as a Morgul-arrow, and therefore should be a wound like Frodo’s. There is only one person in the whole of Middle-earth who can heal such wounds, and that is Lord Elrond himself (probably for the same reasons said above). Also, you can’t heal with athelas like that. Sorry.
Her hair, funnily enough, is another issue. Elves have a fetish for hair that would probably border on paraphilia (Glorfindel of Gondolin was name after his hair, ffs). The elf with the prettiest hair in the history of ever is Galadriel. Hers is the longest, the loveliest, like the light of Laurelin itself was caught in it (which is where her nickname Galadriel actually comes from). TAURIEL’S IS LONGER THAN GALADRIEL’S. Also, it’s exceptionally impractical to have such hair when you’re running around in the woods killing things with eight legs.
Finally, her sudden, inexplicable attraction to Kíli. Elves don’t like Dwarves, especially not Thranduil’s people. Thranduil likely remembers the Ruin of Doriath, and all the woe that bloody Silmaril wrought, and the death of King Thingol. There was never the kind of friendship between the Sindar and the Dwarves like the friendship between the Noldor and the Dwarves (not to mention the dislike from religious reasons: the Dwarves were not supposed to exist at all). Tauriel likely would have grown up with such tales, and her hatred would be as deeply rooted as anyone else’s. she takes to Kíli far too quickly, runs after Thorin’s band when it really isn’t her fight and she should bloody well know it isn’t (not to mention that to go against a direct order of her king is treason), heals him and does a load of stupid stuff. Also, Stupid Fucking Love Triangle, and it certainly diminishes the sheer importance of Gimli and Legolas’s incredible, barrier-shattering friendship. The fact that Tauriel planted the seed of it lowers the change it wrought in Legolas himself and the way the two kindreds related to one another after the War of the Ring.
In short, Tauriel doesn’t conform to the rules of her own world, and does things she shouldn’t. She’s an extra-special snowflake in a way she shouldn’t be. Ok, the whole race of elves is full of special snowflakes, but the extra-special ones are royalty, which she isn’t. Classist, but true. She doesn’t work.
NB: I wouldn’t have a problem with her if she was a 3500-year-old dwarf-hater with shorter hair who did her job.